The phrase passive-aggressive is overused and more importantly misunderstood. Passive-aggressive behavior is the inability to express fears, anxiety, anger, stress, and even sadness. This concept is foreign to me. I have often wondered why anyone would be afraid or anxious about expressing their feelings
and emotions?
As a child raised in an environment which praised open, honest communication, we could express ourselves freely if done with respect. I wonder, is that what is missing in our personal and professional relationships?
A closed, non-communicative culture which lacks respect will breed passive-aggression. Because openness and honesty are not an everyday occurrence or even taught in the home or shown in the workplace, passive-aggression becomes the norm. Creative, collaborative, cultures, promote open, honest communication. In this type of environment, sharing thoughts and feelings are encouraged, and good things happen.
I love watching this in children. A child raised to share their ideas and opinions with respect will behave differently. Instead of their mind filled with anger and resentment, it is free to build healthy, relationships built on honesty and trust. My daughter, Hannah, is a Licensed Professional Counselor who works with families and children. It was eye-opening to watch her communicate with her young daughters. I remember when the girls would get frustrated, she would say, “What is wrong? Use your words.” It made me think how powerful, yet simple the phrase “use your words” could be for adults. Instead of quitting a job because of your negative surroundings, use your words and talk to someone. Instead of leaving your home slamming the door, use your words and express to your partner what is bothering you.
When it comes to passive-aggressive behavior, the question is, what is the culture you want in your home or the workplace? As a leader, you can be a catalyst for change in your environment. Even at work, where senior leadership does not show open communication, respect, and honesty, your behaviors of listening and encouraging honest dialogue will not only make those around you happier, but build trust, and spark employee engagement because they feel heard and empowered.
If not managed properly, passive-aggression will kill a home and an organization. Unfortunately, some people don’t realize how to escape from the grip it has on their behaviors. If you want to change your habits, change your environment, and be the catalyst for change in your home and at work, let me know. It’s time to use your words and seek guidance.
Do you need help to manage this behavior? Whether if the help is for yourself or others, let’s get started! Contact me at 417-837-9048 or at [email protected]
